All the single ladies.

I’ve tried to do that Beyonce dance by the way, and just so you know, it’s way harder than she makes it look. The only part i get right is “put your hands up”. Not proud.

ANYWAY …

Last year this time i was feeling particularly sorry for myself. Realizing that the possibility of spending Christmas with “someone special” was becoming less and less as the weeks flew by really miffed me out. This year, i must say, i’m in a pretty good space.

It’s no secret that i’ve always wanted to be a wife, and a mom. I played with dolls till an embarrassingly old age, and dressed up as a bride for a fancy dress party when i was 6. The signs were there. I was totally convinced that i was going to marry every single guy i ever dated, and the minute that changed we broke up. Yup, i took relationships pretty seriously, especially as i got older. So imagine my surprise when my plan to get married at 26 and already have all my kids by 32 didn’t work out. How dare God have other plans for us? After all, we know best, right?

Now, looking back, MAN am i glad i never married any of those guys (no offense, on the off chance one of you are reading this… highly unlikely, but just in case). Plus, you never realize how young 30 is until you get there. I still feel about 26, and apparently look even younger!

I’m constantly amazed at how much i learn about myself every year. Would i have learnt all this stuff if i wasn’t single? If i didn’t live alone and get bored,would i have learnt anything about gardening or sewing, or how to fold a piece of paper into a swan (don’t ask)? If i never felt lonely, would i have gotten my precious little Aoki, and discovered my love for dogs? I’m continually learning all these wonderful things about myself, and I’m grateful for every opportunity!

I’m obviously not saying that it’s better to be single, or married. Both have advantages and disadvantages, neither one is better or worse, just different. And those differences effect how you experience yourself, your world and others.

I’m used to sitting by myself in the movies, going to parties alone and having cereal for dinner cos i couldn’t be bothered to cook just for me, or being able to wear whatever underwear i want on washing day , because no one will see it anyway.

The most important lesson i’ve learnt is to just stop waiting and live in the present. We waste our lives waiting for stuff. Waiting to find “Mr Right”, to get married, to have kids, for them to grow up, for grandchildren, etc . I’ve decided to stop sitting around waiting, and to live the life i have. To make decisions based on my PRESENT situation and not on “what if’s” and “just in case”.

Living in the moment has been one of the most liberating lessons, one that can change your life, so you stop living like Bridget Jones, and kick it Beyonce style!

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One response to “All the single ladies.

  1. Erin

    what a difficult and valuable lesson!! now if it were easier to stay living in the present…and not slip into the old patterns, well that’s the really tough part! you’re so wise Jo! thanks for sharing 🙂 love you!

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