It’s hard, being so idealistic.

I’ve realised that i can’t always be bummed about how my life isn’t what i expected, or how nothing seems to ‘ever go my way’. There are things that i’d prefer – ideal situations and circumstances… there always will be. The perfect picture of how things are ‘supposed’ to happen, or how things ‘should’ look. But that isn’t how things ARE.  So what do you do? Do you step aside and wait for life to happen to you just as you’d prefer it? Watching moments go buy and ignore them because purely because they’re not what you expected?  Or, do you embrace opportunities for what they are, and enjoy the moments that are presented to you, without getting too emotional or sentimental and nostalgic about them, and realise that it will all end in tears anyway. Happy tears or sad tears … our cheeks will dry again.

Somehow we all have to learn how to be in this world that we are not of.

Life is Hard…

Many song titles could have been typed into the title bar of this entry, but i decided to book-end this post with a bit of ‘Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros’. You know why.

I realise we’re not very far into 2014 but, until today, i didn’t have many wonderful expectations for this year. It started off pretty crummy. I won’t go in to detail, but let’s just say it was disappointing. Disappointing, frustrating, and rather annoying. I would say more (not really) but I think most can relate to those three words in one way or another… and another… and another.
I was feeling sad, a little hopeless, and somewhat negative. I didn’t feel negative about life in general, just certain areas which i wished were different. I wasn’t necessarily walking around with a long face, but i was definitely walking around with a perplexed mind and a hurting heart. I tried to recognise exactly what i was believing about my circumstances, if (and how) i believed they would change, whether or not i was powerless to change them, and what the heck to do with myself until change did appear.

If, after many years, our expectations aren’t met, we can easily be tempted to stop expecting.
If, after many prayers, nothing happens, we can easily be tempted to stop praying.
If, after many (enter appropriate amount of time here) your dreams still seem to be without a glimmer of hope, we can easily be tempted to stop dreaming, or wishing, or hoping.

This is, basically, what went through my mind as i walked around contemplating God and life, and overanalysing behaviours (mine and others) all the live long day. The good thing is that it kept me very busy… I’ve been on holiday, so i’ve had nothing but time. It also made me ask myself some very important questions, which is a good thing every once in a while. However, it made me very tired (who knew that considering throwing in the towel could be such an arduous task?) and it wasn’t a whole lot of fun.

I guess, no matter how cheerful one’s disposition, there will always be moments in life that are ‘less fuzzy bunny – more prickly pear’ as my flat-mate Sian would say. (Oh Siany and her jokes!) I also remembered hearing ‘you might not be able to change your circumstances but you can change your attitude’, which I would be SO tempted to argue against, if I wasn’t so tempted to try it.

I don’t think it’s healthy for people to never feel anything negative. It’s a good thing to go through tough times, to question what you believe and why, and to ask for help when you need it. Moments like that are important for us to grow and learn and mature, absolutely. But sooner or later one can get tired of tripping over one’s own bottom lip. Plus, you’ll need that lip for when you want to comfort-eat yourself through your next soft-serve.
Being sad and confused in the dark is boring, and sooner or later you need to find your way back into the sunshine.

Life is far more fun with a head full of dreams, expecting something wonderful to happen at any moment, and believing that something is possible no matter how hopeless it seems. To live beyond hurts, failures, un-forgiveness and revenge and to always remember that the picture is way bigger than the part we can see.

God’s timing IS perfect.
His plans for us ARE good.
And anything IS possible.
(The three lines that made me want to punch people in the face a week ago.)

That’s something I (have to) CHOOSE to believe, and live.

So to end this post. I leave you with one of my favourite quotes from my favourite musician, Alexander Ebert…

“…The intellectual path left me very depleted of spirit… my sense of adventure and spirit and magic disappeared and, honestly, it’s just more fun to live with magic than without it… with the sense of anything being possible… with the sense of the the invisible as a possibility, than it is to believe that ‘this table is just a table’. It’s just more fun to believe in the possibility of anything being possible!“

Thank you Alex! You’re a real gem!
Jo
x

I will not cut down on my Parklife to get some exercise.

But i do understand what Blur was trying to say!

I feel quite blessed to be “working” for ‘Love SA Music’ with Simon Hodgson. He sends me all over the city to listen to music and tweet about the bands, venues and festivals. Sweet deal!

So this weekend my BFF, and partner in crime Bronwyn, and i headed off to Parklife SA, to spend the day listening to some of the best South African bands play under the hot South African sun. (Which we weren’t quite prepared for, but anyway…)

I’m a bit sad that we didn’t have a bigger group of friends with us. Out of everyone i know, only two were at the festival, which is confusing. Why don’t more of you attend these events? What were you all doing yesterday? HUH?

We weren’t able to get to all the bands, but the ones we did get to were amazing!
I’m seriously blown away by the amount of talent popping up everywhere, after what seemed (to me) like a bit of a cool-band drought a while ago. Although i wasn’t a fan of everyone on the line-up, I honestly think they’re all doing a darn good job of representing South Africa. GO TEAM! (By the way, there is/was a band called The Go Team! and they’re cool.)
#justsaying

We really enjoyed the vibe in the park, and mostly sat around on the grass, watching the people  while we waited to stage-hop from one favourite to the other.

The first artist we saw was Nakhane Toure. This man’s voice is  incredible. Do yourself a favour and check him out!

You can listen to some of his stuff here…
http://https://soundcloud.com/nakhane-toure-1

Nakhane Toure

Short Straw are fun guys, and Shane from Desmond and the Tutus made a guest appearance during one of their songs too.
#winning
http://https://soundcloud.com/shortstrawband

Short Straw

Speaking of Desmond and the Tutus, they sure do sing about some random stuff. We saw them too, and had a bit of a dance 🙂
#getyourgrooveon
http://https://soundcloud.com/confusionists/01-desmond-and-the-tutus-kiss-you-on-the-cheek-original-mix

I am ALWAYS impressed by ISO’s performances! Richard (the singer) has the voice of an angel, with a face i could just spread on a cracker!
#socute
Watch the video for No Fire

ISO

Although we didn’t get to watch Matthew (not Michael) Mole, he also never disappoints, and is a pretty big deal *ahem*! So if you’re tired of the rock you’re living under, you should come into the light and check him out! This guy really is a real Cape Town gem! His songs contain some of the most beautiful lyrics i’ve ever heard, and from the first little ‘twang’ of the banjo i was sold! Not to mention the most soul warming voice I’ve heard on a human! I also have the privilege of  saying that he is, genuinely, one of the nicest people i know!
#NoiDontGetPaidForThis
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-mole

Check out his video for Take yours, I’ll take mine.  And here’s a pic. Wouldn’t want to leave Matt out.

Then it was time for one of my (other) absolute favourites- Jeremy Loops. (It’s a toss up between him and Matthew Mole. Don’t make me choose.)
Since the very first time i saw Jeremy Loops perform, i have loved him. There’s something about his music and his look  that’s like a breath of fresh air when you’re suffocating in skinny jeans and military haircuts.  I’m not sure if it was the fact that he came skipping on to stage to the song ‘Home’ by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros (my favourite international band) or the beautiful sound of his harmonica, but i honestly was the happiest i had been all week. The energy that he gives off, together with his saxophonist Jamie and his smooth rapper Motheo, is definitely contagious! (Album out SOON)
#WellDoneLads
http://https://soundcloud.com/jeremyloops

Jeremy Loops

And then unfortunately we had to go. *wah-wah* So we didn’t get to see Seether, but i’m sure they were wonderful.

Please  listen to and support more South African artists. These guys make our country more beautiful!!
And feel free to invite Love SA Music to your gigs 😉

#JoleneOut

She was that kind of mother.

It’s hard to imagine living without someone you love. But when it’s not only someone you love, but someone you need, admire, learn from, seek counsel from, and have seen or spoken to every day of your life , it starts to seem impossible. However, for the past 8 months, my sister and I have been doing the seemingly impossible… living without our mother.

Nothing can prepare you for the way losing your mother feels. It’s scary, and heart breaking, very confusing, and extremely weird. Your brain is crammed FULL of memories, moments, songs, smells, words, behaviours, sayings, associations, mannerisms, tastes, conversations and a billion more things all relating to this one person in your life who, suddenly isn’t there any more. But your brain keeps reminding you of these things, which never used to hurt, but now it suddenly hurts, so eventually your brain stops doing it, and that’s when things get a bit better. When you’re able to have slightly more control over the memories, and you’re able to retrieve them at your own will. Of course you can only do this to a certain extent, and every now and again you get surprised by overwhelming emotions that send memories flooding back from your brain and out of your eyeballs, and it normally takes you by surprise!  The subtle whiff of hairspray, the lady in Woolworths who wore a blouse similar to hers, a mother walking hand in hand with her daughter across the street, the smell of carrot cake, your first bite of Bolognaise, a silly made-up word that people use when they can’t remember the real word …. the list goes on and on.

But no matter how painful these memories or little reminders can be, they’re all very very good. They remind me of what being a mother is, and although i’m not a mother YET … i remember the kind of mother i want to be.

The kind of mother that won’t ask her children to do the dishes because “they’ll wash their own dishes when their older, it’s more important that they play”. The kind of mother that will always discipline her children when appropriate, but always let them know how much they are loved by giving them lots of hugs and kisses. The kind of mother that will respect her children, and will give them the freedom to explore who they are, no matter how much she disapproves of the heavy metal blaring from the stereo in their room. The kind of mother that will let her children know that no matter how early it is in the morning, they can count of me to fetch them from the party when their drunk friend leaves them behind. The kind of mother that will patiently teach my kids to sew, knit, cook, bake, garden and apply make-up correctly. The kind of mother who will always be there, no matter the time or the circumstances, to laugh with, and cry with. And the kind of mother who will teach her children that they are loved, by a far greater love than mine… and that they must love others.

You know … that kind of mother.

 

I’m ‘big’ now, i’d better be something!

I’ve always been somewhat of a dreamer.

People would ask me ‘what do you want to be when you grow up? And I always had a different answer. Some were met with a raised eyebrow and a giggle – like when I said I wanted to be a cashier – and then there were those that made people smile with pride, like becoming an architect. I still find it interesting that people think some jobs deserve more respect than others… Surely it’s not the job itself but the person, and their attitude toward it that is deserving of respect?

One thing I knew for sure though, was that I wanted to eventually be a mom. I was always the kid that ended up ‘babysitting’ at parties, every time my mom got sick I hoped it was because she was pregnant, and I loved my dolls more than anything! They were so real to me that I’d buy them Christmas presents and set my alarm clock to ‘wake-up’ in the night to feed them! Yes, I admit I perhaps took it a tad far, or perhaps I can commend my apparently vivid imagination, but that was one thing I remember the most. The other, was entertaining my family…
We were ALWAYS putting together skits, dances, shows and plays to present to our families and friends at get-togethers. We’d take turns being choreographers, directors, actors and singers, and force our ‘audience’ to watch our wonderful productions. Just how wonderful they actually were, remains a mystery….

I can’t even begin to count the list of things I dreamed of doing growing up and how many times I’ve changed my mind. I’ve wanted to be …  a hairdresser, a cop (I know, WHAT?), a beautician, MAGician, a writer, a limo driver (aiming a bit low there), a counselor, a dressmaker, an actress, a rock star, a dog trainer, a pilot, a chef/baker, a florist, an interior designer, a traffic officer (baaahahaha) a jewelry maker, a dancer and the list goes on and on …. Most of which were inspired by some or other movie I had seen, come to think of it.

My sister always knew that one day, she would be a nurse. We’d play ‘Dr Dr’ (because that’s what you do, when you’re young you name all your games twice) and she’d be the Dr or nurse and I’d of course be the mom with the sick baby.
But me? I had no idea. And I can honestly say, that as I sit here 20-odd years later, I STILL have no idea.

My passion for children has kept me wonderfully busy up to now, and has lead me to feel like I’ve never really even had a job. It has blessed me and been so good to me. But once a dreamer, always a dreamer, and I still think of things I could do. Of course they’re now a bit more exciting than working a till at Pick n Pay, but you’ll always find some new idea occupying my thoughts.

A while ago I was ready to pack my bags, board a plane and set off on a journey with the airlines, traveling the world as an air hostess and serving people ‘chicken or beef’.
Clearly that didn’t work out, but I have high hopes for this new one!
Like many others, I’m not sure where i got this idea from, but I now would like to become a director! Film or tv? I’m not sure, maybe a bit of both… Although there’s something so magical about theatre! One sniff of that old wood and your imagination comes alive!

I have SO much to learn, but with the wonderful people I have helping me out, I’m hoping that one day, I’ll be able to do something amazing! Something that will make me think back to this post and see how far I’ve come!

Or maybe not … Maybe I’ll change my mind…?

I think about what every other single girl thinks about … Food!

I just inhaled a chicken and mayonnaise on olive panini. I attacked it, the way those people in Survivor do when they win a challenge and get to eat something yummy.

It was specifically when a piece of crispy, green lettuce slapped me on the chin, that i realised what a wonderful (and often underrated) companion it makes for just about any sandwich, which got me thinking about all different kinds of sandwiches, and sandwich meats… and then just meat and food in general. (but especially meat)

Every now and again i’m  embarrassed by how passionately i feel about food, like when people point it out: “it’s cute how passionately you feel about food” or, once while at a party, my friend (the hostess) asked her husband to call people to come and grab a plate because “no ones eating except Jolene”. Awkward.

People always say that if you make a living out of what you love to do, you’ll never work a day in your life. This lead me to think of ways that i could make money by eating, like being a food critic… but i would be the worst person in the world for that job  because i just love EVERYTHING. I’m the least fussy person when it comes to food. I eat just about any food in one form or another. I don’t LOVE asparagus on it’s own, but will eat it in a stir fry. Not the biggest fan of baked beans, but will eat them in a wrap or in soup etc. So when i congratulate someone for the delicious meal they’ve prepared, i’m not sure if it really counts as a compliment or not. Although the pure joy on my face when i’m eating and the “mmmmmm” noises i subconsciously make with closed eyes are always well received.

One would think then, that this makes me a good cook. But one would be sorely mistaken i’m afraid. I’m far more interested in eating than in actually cooking anything. I feel like it requires quite a bit of effort …. then it’s done, and all you’re left with are dirty dishes *raised eyebrow*. I’m hoping that my love for the 1940’s housewife will inspire me to  feel a tad bit more enthusiastic about preparing meals for my family one day, otherwise they’re in trouble. Or perhaps I’ll be so inspired, that i’ll be whipping up all sorts of dishes from all over the world (since i’m such an adventurous eater too) that they’ll be met with very suspicious “wow’s” and nervous expressions.

Either way, I do love food. And nothing is more irritating to me, than those girls who don’t eat. “Eating is cheating” they say!! Hold on, one thing is more irritating than them … the ones who believe it’s their job to inform you on how many calories are in everything, and give you that look of judgement when you’re licking traces of chocolate mousse off your spoon.

I DO disagree with eating to fill anything besides your stomach, and I’m a firm believer in looking after yourself and the body God blessed you with, but life is too short to be worrying about everything you eat, and obsessing over weight. There’s nothing wrong with loving food, the healthy and the not-so-healthy…

So here are some of my favourite food quotes, from people who love food like i love food ❤

“Fasting? The only thing fast about me is how fast i eat!”

Kimora Lee Simmons

“Would i blow everyone’s mind if i ate dessert first?”

Moss (IT Crowd)

“One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.”

Luciano Pavarotti

La Vida es un Carnaval (Life is a carnaval)

I just love dancing, and have practiced some form of it my whole life basically. Like most girls I started ballet at the age of 4, which i did for a few years, then moved on to modern; free-style; hip-hop and had learned the basics of ballroom etc for my my matric farewell, so i figured i could dance…. until i met Carol and Alex.

We became friends while all working in the Hamptons as au pairs. Carol is from Brazil, and Alex from Costa Rica. We got on like a house on fire, and it didn’t take long at all for us to be joined at the hip. One night Alex invited to a salsa club in South Hampton called 75 Main. I knew the basic steps and was feeling pretty confident… until we walked into the club, and realised i was sorely, sorely mistaken. I wasn’t even sure if we were speaking about the same dance.

Carol (being Brazilian) took to it like a fish to water, and with the ease and confidence that left me staring, mouth agape, and awkwardly aware of how “white” i felt at that moment. Lucky for me, people knew to expect this reaction from a fair-haired South African girl, and soon there were a few Hispanic men volunteering to give me a lesson *wink*. Thanks to my previous dancing history i picked it up pretty easily, and was dancing the night away, being twirled this way and that, although still a far cry from the kind of moves Carol pulled. It was one of the best experiences of my life, and it didn’t take long for the three of us to be recognised as “regulars”. 75 Main remains one of my favorite memories of my year in New York.

I’ve longed to go dancing since then…  PROPER dancing! Not just standing around in a circle, bopping up and down to music… And this week my friend Brett invited me to go check out a social at a dance studio in Sunninghill! Man alive, was i excited!

Last night we went to the Dance Cafe. It’s a studio, so it wasn’t like the club i was used to in New York, but we had such a blast doing the Rhumba, Salsa, Samba… even the Waltz and the Jive. Boy was it a good work out too! Definitely my FAVORITE way of burning a few calories! There were group dances too, which i particularly enjoyed… reminded me SO MUCH of the wonderful times i had with Carol and Alex. I can’t wait to go again, and drag some of my friends along with me 🙂

My feet were a tad sore and legs slightly stiff when i woke up this morning, but one of my favorite salsa songs is still stuck in my head. It’s sung in Spanish, so I’ve never known what the words meant, until this morning i when i decided to googled them. They are so wonderful and inspiring that i thought i HAD TO share! Last night i was reminded how much i love to dance. How much i love music… and music from all over the world. Brett said it’s sad that dancing isn’t as much part of our culture, and i 100% agree. So this song not only reminds me of my year in New York, but also reminds me of the kind of life i want to live… Free, fun, and full of dancing!

It’s by Celia Cruz, and it’s called “La Vida Es Un Carnaval”. Here are the english lyrics, and the song for you to have a listen to. I hope it gets you to jump of your chair and dancing the day away!

http://lyricstranslate.com

Anyone thinking that like is unfair,
Needs to know that’s not the case,
that life is beautiful, you must live it.
Anyone thinking he’s alone and that that’s bad
Needs to know that’s not the case,
that in life no one is alone, there is always someone

Ay, there’s no need to cry, because life is a carnival,
It’s more beautiful to live singing.
Oh, Ay, there’s no need to cry,
For life is a carnival
And your pains go away by singing.

Anyone thinking that life is cruel,
Needs to know that’s not the case,
That there are just bad times, and it will pass.
Anyone thinking that things will never change,
Needs to know that’s not the case,
smile to the hard times, and they will pass.

Ay, there’s no need to cry, because life is a carnival,
It’s more beautiful to live singing.
Oh, Ay, there’s no need to cry,
For life is a carnival
And your pains go away by singing.
For those that complain a lot.
For those that only criticize.
For those that use weapons.
For those that pollute us.
For those that make war.
For those that live in sin.
For those that mistreat us.
For those that make us sick.

Ignorance is bliss!

I (as a rule) NEVER get involved in politics or general news. Every conversation i’ve ever had on these subjects usually ends in me wanting to scream until my face distorts. I can never manage to stay calm, or collected. I become the Hulk!  I also hate just about all sports, except for soccer; tennis typical girl stuff like gymnastics and figure skating.

This works out very well for me, until i actually end up (to my disgust) in a conversation about any of these topics and then find myself unusually quiet, staring at the ceiling or daydreaming about whatever thoughts are occupying my head at the time. Some people think it’s completely stupid to not know anything about “world we live in” and “what’s going on around you” but if ‘stupid’ is what it takes to have a good day, then i’ll do it. I’ve always said my EQ  is far higher than my IQ, and to me that’s more important anyway. I’d much rather know how to relate to God and people, than know the price of gold and who’s hiding who where.

I TRIED listening to the news on the radio the other day, and it only took about a minute for my blood to start boiling! Litter in my beloved Joburg city after the Cusato e-toll strikes… pregnant Rhino’s found dead because of poachers…. it’s enough to put anyone down in the dumps. The CARE BEARS would need Prozac after listening to that news broadcast! So now i just Google the weather.

Of course my ignorance has lead to hilarious conversations like: “Jolene, you know Trevor Noah?” to which i reply “is he the rugby player?” Now let me just say, that this was AGES ago, i DO know who he is now, AND I even think he’s funny. (i’m a bit of a comedy snob too).

Just the other day a friend explained to me that the “Chiefs” are a rugby team, and she wasn’t referring the the “Kaiser Chiefs”.  Meanwhile i’m thinking “you can just be glad i know that the Kaiser Chiefs aren’t only a cool band from England”.

So yes, i have NO idea what’s going on in the news, on the fields or in the war – if that’s even still happening – but i’m happy, and calm! And in order for me to stay this way i’ll just keep  my head in the clouds, with the birds and the rainbows, and have a great day.

 

Thank you Jo’burg <3

Phewy! My legs hurt from all the walking, but my eyes hurt from all the AWESOME!!!

This morning at 8am sharp, my friend Brett picked me up, handed me a cappuccino (God bless him) and off we went on our adventure to Jo’burg CBD.

I have always LOVED this city. I remember my dad bringing us to Jo’burg when i was a kid. I’d remind him to wake me up as we came into the city on the M1, and just the sight of  all the tall buildings would get me SO excited. He’d drive us around, pointing out all the places he and my mom used to go to when they lived here … of course even then, the run down buildings and brothels weren’t exactly what they remembered, but it was exciting just the same. So when i was presented with the opportunity to go and explore this wonderful city, i immediately cancelled my hair appointment and set my alarm for  7am 🙂

Our first stop was the Carlton Centre …

My parents used to hang out here all the time back in the 70’s. There weren’t as many shops open then, but it was definitely THE place to be. We made our way up up up to the very top, where there’s a little cafe (which no one has ever seen open) and the most spectacular views of the city…

It’s R15 per person to go up here, and we’re thinking it would be just wonderful to have a little something involving sundowners up here one evening!!! (woohhooo)

After that we headed on over to the Anstey’s apartment block, a beautiful old building with the sweetest little apartments that they’re busy renovating (and i’m dreaming of buying) which also has a gym and a salon! Can you believe it?? Too cool!

We spent a huge chunk of the day walking and walking and walking some more around the city, and i took a heck of a lot of photos so i won’t post them all, but here’s my absolutely favourite building which they’re also renovating, the City Hall …

The house of the Gauteng Legislature, it also boasts a beautiful pipe organ which, until a few years ago, was the largest one in the southern hemisphere. (yes ways!!) and it. is. BEAUTIFUL!!!!

I can’t wait to see what it will look like once the renovations are complete. Those guys are so busy in there, painting, building and polishing, i hope it happens super soon!! We had a wonderful little tour of the building thanks to one of the workers, and the more i saw the more i loved this building.

After walking for so many hours, we stopped at a little coffee shop called Cramers in Harrison street, for a DELICIOUS vanilla frappe. Very highly recommended!!

As we were walking back to the Carlton centre where the car was parked, we found a small, independent movie theatre, where you can watch TWO movies for R12! Imagine that! One movie – interval – another movie, and on a sunday it’s R8!!!! So we stuck around and watched “Last 3 Days” with Russell Crow and Olivia Wilde. It’s good! Intense, but good, and also has a great soundtrack (FYI)  🙂

And then we came back to suburbia. Both with dreams of living in a newly renovated apartment in the city (which is a lot less ‘dodge’ than people think). We came home unscathed. Cameras, phones and money still in our possession.  We didn’t even get sunburn … just the occasional odd look and very, very tired legs 🙂

Thank you Jo’burg for a really wonderful day!!

All the single ladies.

I’ve tried to do that Beyonce dance by the way, and just so you know, it’s way harder than she makes it look. The only part i get right is “put your hands up”. Not proud.

ANYWAY …

Last year this time i was feeling particularly sorry for myself. Realizing that the possibility of spending Christmas with “someone special” was becoming less and less as the weeks flew by really miffed me out. This year, i must say, i’m in a pretty good space.

It’s no secret that i’ve always wanted to be a wife, and a mom. I played with dolls till an embarrassingly old age, and dressed up as a bride for a fancy dress party when i was 6. The signs were there. I was totally convinced that i was going to marry every single guy i ever dated, and the minute that changed we broke up. Yup, i took relationships pretty seriously, especially as i got older. So imagine my surprise when my plan to get married at 26 and already have all my kids by 32 didn’t work out. How dare God have other plans for us? After all, we know best, right?

Now, looking back, MAN am i glad i never married any of those guys (no offense, on the off chance one of you are reading this… highly unlikely, but just in case). Plus, you never realize how young 30 is until you get there. I still feel about 26, and apparently look even younger!

I’m constantly amazed at how much i learn about myself every year. Would i have learnt all this stuff if i wasn’t single? If i didn’t live alone and get bored,would i have learnt anything about gardening or sewing, or how to fold a piece of paper into a swan (don’t ask)? If i never felt lonely, would i have gotten my precious little Aoki, and discovered my love for dogs? I’m continually learning all these wonderful things about myself, and I’m grateful for every opportunity!

I’m obviously not saying that it’s better to be single, or married. Both have advantages and disadvantages, neither one is better or worse, just different. And those differences effect how you experience yourself, your world and others.

I’m used to sitting by myself in the movies, going to parties alone and having cereal for dinner cos i couldn’t be bothered to cook just for me, or being able to wear whatever underwear i want on washing day , because no one will see it anyway.

The most important lesson i’ve learnt is to just stop waiting and live in the present. We waste our lives waiting for stuff. Waiting to find “Mr Right”, to get married, to have kids, for them to grow up, for grandchildren, etc . I’ve decided to stop sitting around waiting, and to live the life i have. To make decisions based on my PRESENT situation and not on “what if’s” and “just in case”.

Living in the moment has been one of the most liberating lessons, one that can change your life, so you stop living like Bridget Jones, and kick it Beyonce style!